Posted: 3:53 p.m. Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Hello, fellow State fans.
Have you been having issues lately with what the kids call "haters?"
Did someone see your Mississippi State hat in Mall of America last summer and come up and harass you?
Have you ever gotten heckled at a family reunion for wearing your maroon and white gameday polo and not orange and white overalls like the rest of your northeastern Tennessee family?
WELL NO MORE.
Starting today, you can purchase your very own "Haters gonna hate" t-shirt
Here's a step by step guide as to how to fully stop haters using this state-of-the-art t-shirt technology:
Step 1: purchase aforementioned shirt from nearest sporting goods store
Step 2: put the shirt on, but for heaven's sakes, don't wash it! washing it immediately dilutes the concentration of haterepellent © infused into the tee
Step 3: drive to the nearest gathering spot known for hosting throngs of fans for an opposing team.
Step 4: wait for the hate to pour out of them (note: if they don't immediately hate on MSU, you can jump start the process by throwing out either "Dan Mullen is the greatest coach in the history of Mississippi collegiate football, or maybe an "OMAHA -- more like Ole Miss At Home Again, amirite?"). When the angry fans in your immediate vicinity turn to thrust upon you their venomous replies, they will see your brand new t-shirt with patented haterepellent © technology, and kindly move on.
Buy it for looks.
Buy it for life.
But whatever you do, just don't wash the danged thing.