So, P. J. Hairston's run-in with the law a couple of nights ago triggered some immediate questions:
How will this affect the season? Why are Duke cops picking on Heels players? How long will it take #PJBeSmokin
to start trending? And, is anyone who's ever looked
at the sleepy-eyed shooting guard really surprised to find out that he's a considerable fan of the hooter?
The upshot of the last question seems to be that nobody really is that surprised, which got me wondering about which other former Tar Heels we probably wouldn't have been too shocked to hear about driving through a Durham checkpoint a couple ounces heavier than their official media guide listing.
To that end, here's my All-Time Chapel Chill Trees and Threes starting five:
PG Ed Cota--A smooth, cool, nonchalant game with the breezy, carefree nickname to go with it, Easy Ed was more effective in slow-motion than any of his full-speed competitors. After Chapel Hill, Easy bounced around Europe winning championships in Belgium, Lithuania, and Russia, most likely because the Netherlands doesn't field a league. Puff-puff-give counts as an assist, right?
SG P. J. Hairston--Smoking Js and stroking Js seem to go hand in hand. Hairston to Sulaimon at the jump circle: "I came here to smoke some weed and knock down some jumpers--looks like we're almost out of weed." Sure, his license might get revoked, but let's face it, driving was never P. J.'s bag to begin with.
SF Danny Green--If the last name doesn't say it all, ask Greg Paulus whether Danny carries any extra bags around with him. He's the only player in Carolina Basketball history to hit 50 threes AND block 100 shots in a career (Green has over 150 of each), which tells me one thing--Danny gets up. It would also explain why he's excelling for an NBA team so close to the border.
PF Sam Perkins--Find a picture of Sam at any point in college and any picture of Sam wearing a Sonics jersey, then try to tell me this guy didn't have a decades-long case of the munchies. Seriously, what is it about weed that makes guys just want to sit back and jack from distance? (Even Cota led the CBA in 3-point percentage in 2001.) By the time he gave up any intention of ever setting foot in the paint again, Sam's stroke was so smooth it looked like he was shooting from a rocking chair. Probably felt like it, too.
C Rasheed Wallace--While most people would probably peg steroids or meth as Sheed's substance of choice, I think we can all agree he was high on something. Plus, you don't get ejected from that many games if you don't have something kind waiting for you in the locker room. That's also not a birthmark in Sheed's hair, it's his carb.
I don't care what anybody says, that's a banner starting five--with or without dope.
P. J. Hairston Enters Chapel Chill